I will officially be 42 weeks pregnant on Thursday. I have an induction scheduled for that morning, and I’m not entirely sure I’m actually going to go through with it. I’ve had to fight so hard with all the doctors at the office just to make it this far. I don’t want to give up on my plan to let this baby come when he’s ready.
It blows my mind that even though I’m really healthy, the baby is really healthy and I feel great (all things considered) that they’d still push induction on me. In fact, they’ve been trying to plant the concept of “induction is normal” in my brain since 39 weeks when they told me I wouldn’t be “allowed” to go past 41 weeks.
I get it. I’m not a doctor. But I’m not an idiot either. I’ve spent this entire pregnancy researching what I want. Then I spent even more time researching my second choice if things don’t go my way. And yeah, I’ve got third choices too. I’m a pretty informed pregnant person. I know what I want and I’m going to fight for that.
So it already seemed bad enough that their policy applied to everyone, regardless of the patient’s health and personal desires. But then, last week, I was actually physically violated by one of the doctors. In what was supposed to be a routine cervical check he performed what is called a membrane strip, or “sweeping the membranes.” I was not asked if I wanted it. I was not told that he was doing it. And he had no plans to tell me he’d done it. The only reason he did is because the procedure is painful and invasive and I recognized he’d done something more than just a regular exam, so I asked about it. That’s when I was told what he’d done to me.
I’m not going to whine about being violated, even though that’s what I feel happened to me. And I still feel incredibly disgusted by it. I think I always will. I just I want to get what happened out there.
I want to let women know that they’re allowed to fight for the kind of birth they want. Be proactive and ask your doctor exactly what they’re going to do to you. Understand the risks. Stand up for yourself when it feels like your wishes aren’t being considered.
We shouldn’t be treated like we’re all the same or that we’re ignorant or that we don’t care what happens when we hop up on that exam table naked from the waist down.
Okay, now that I got that out, let’s switch gears. That’s just too much seriousness for this blog. Because being pregnant isn’t a complete horror story. I get to do fun things like eat all the Oreos without feeling guilty and asking for foot rubs that I can’t be denied. It’s not exactly a bad existence right now.
I even managed to convince Ryan to help me make some “art” for the baby’s room yesterday. There hasn’t been a lot of decorating going on in there, since we just have to move anyway, so I was pretty excited to do something. After a trip to Marshall’s and Hobby Lobby, here’s what we came up with: