So, after a couple of glorious weeks, I’m once again home alone with the baby. No more sleeping in. No more hours of uninterrupted stretches of doing whatever the heck I want. It has been a rude awakening, my friends. Really rude.
Having said that, let’s get this week in review started. If I work quick maybe I can get this done and eat lunch before he weeks up.
It’s nice to dream.
We were supposed to drive back to Minnesota on Monday until Old Man Winter and Mother Nature put their heads together and decided it was National Piss Trish Off Day and dumped a bunch of snow on South Bend. So we stayed another day. And instead of using that time wisely, I just sat around in my pajamas eating Cheetos.
My mom, Wyatt, Dewey and I made the trip back to Minnesota. And I’ve decided McDonald’s should sell you a cup you can take into any of their restaurants and fill up for free. Let’s get on this, McDonald’s. It’s not like you’re making a huge profit on those drinks anyway. And you know I’ll still buy some fries.
Wyatt cried his first real tears. He’s fine now. But I’m traumatized forever.
We left Wyatt on his stomach on his play mat while we did important things like go out to the kitchen to find cake. When we came back, he was like this:
We all decided we needed a trip out of the house so we went the Mall of America. I’m happy to report I didn’t get into any fights this time. But I did catch this woman taking a snooze next to her half-eaten tray of nachos:
I highly admire people who can sleep anywhere. And I thank them for not waking up while I stand next to them holding a baby and taking their picture. That would be awkward.
I had the life-changing pizza again. I’m happy to report it wasn’t a fluke. It rocked my world even harder the second time around. I might have got the large and been eating it for breakfast lunch and dinner ever since.
We were supposed to enjoy one last relaxing day with my parents before they headed home, but my mom just had to go and get herself a sinus infection. A trip to the urgent care clinic and bunch of drugs later, she was passed out in bed and my dad and I watched crappy movies on ABC Family all day. But I did manage to capture this gem while they were out:
It rubs the lotion on its skin.