Friday Things

Perhaps I’m a little overjoyed today. Maybe it’s because my kid is driving me insane and the weekend means I get more help with him. Which also means he has someone else around to smack in the face, so I’m not the sole recipient of his toddler-rage.

Oh yeah, he also head-butts now. He does it and then looks at me like I hurt him. So not only am I being physically assaulted, but also manipulated into thinking it’s my own fault. Seriously, I’m putting a helmet on my shopping list. And calling a therapist for my growing emotional issues. It’s dangerous around here.

So, back to Friday. I was thinking I’d do this series called Friday Things and I’d write about things I’m excited about. Or things that are annoying me. Or awesome things I’ve found on the internet this week. Or local things to do around here this weekend. Or maybe I should just scratch the whole thing and get checked for ADD.

Anyway, I’m not doing any of that stuff. And this probably won’t turn into a series. Mostly because I think my kid has given me brain damage and I’ll forget to keep up with it. So in the spirit of where my life is right now, today’s post is going to be a random purge of my tired brain.

I’m not sure if you should be terrified or thank me. Maybe wait until the end to decide.

• Wyatt went to daycare for the first time. Just for a few hours. I was a nervous wreck. He did great though, of course. And when we went to pick him up he acted like he didn’t know us. So I guess he’s already a teenager. But I still have to change his diapers. Not fair. Right?
• I was reading some strategies on how to improve social media presence, and I’m already burnt out. Even though I haven’t tried any of the tips. Post on Facebook every hour? Ugh. Even if I did have that much to say (I don’t), who’d want to see that much of me (no one)? I think I’ll stick to my current strategy of rarely posting and then wondering why no one likes me.
• In the middle of writing this the internet lost some serious steam. Which means Pandora stopped playing. Which means I had nothing to drown out the sounds of my kid screaming at a box of Legos. Which means I better go check to see if there’s still wine in the fridge.
• There’s still wine in the fridge.
• The internet is back. Just in time for this to pop up in my Twitter feed. Hold me. 
• Wyatt stopped yelling at the Legos and is now walking around the living room screaming into a coaster that he thinks is a telephone. This.Is.My.Life.
• Last night I had a glass of wine (I swear, just one) and proceeded to tell people in a Facebook photography group I’m in that Melissa McCarthy is my spirit animal and that one day we’ll be best friends who shop at Lane Bryant and eat french fries and take selfies. I’m not sure they’re going to let me back in.

Are you super glad it’s Friday? Got anything random to tell me? Is it inappropriate to have a human celebrity as a spirit animal?

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